After 17 years of a dehumanizing and humiliating policy of secrecy and self-sacrifice, the U.S. Military’s “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell” (DADT) has been repealed.  Finally.

We all understand the rational and sane conclusion and assertions of this action.  Men and women will no longer be forced to ‘live a lie’, while giving their service, dedication and lives to the armed forces and being short-changed on the experience of living a whole and fulfilled personal life in the process.  It is a simple matter of fairness and equality which can no longer be denied.  Further, according to one source, 13,389 military personnel were discharged or fired under the law.  Other countries have led the way in allowing GLBTI people to serve openly in their military branches.

Well now they will be able to serve.  They have been invited, by the Commander-in-Chief, to reenlist once things are running smoothly.  Many of our previous clients have been active-duty military personnel.  We, TOO, have had to protect their identities, personal information, use non-military computers to plan with them, for fear that they would be discovered and fired for being gay or lesbian.  We have been nervous, right along with those brave clients who recognized that life was too short for fear and denial.  Like most freedom loving people, they pressed on past the fear, intimidation and consequences of marrying the one they loved.  So now what?

Will GLBTI military professionals suddenly be completely equal in matters such as couples’ quarters and housing?  Will we be allowed to live as married couples, like our straight counterparts, on bases throughout the world?  If so— Will the comfort of being able to live as ‘married’ (while not legal in most states in this country or socially accepted in some countries), encourage military GLBTI couples to tie the knot now?

Now that these servicemen and women will be able to retain their jobs, salaries, security, comfort, dignity and truth, will marriage become a priority for them, since it appears to be attainable now?  I have seen first-hand that all people want to be treated with dignity, respect and fairness.  Will not the action of marrying and creating families, just like any other family (without regard for the manner of conception), be a goal of these military men and women going forward?  They are now permitted to be who they are (within the protocols of military conduct).  Is it not the fruition, in large part, of the COMPLETE American Dream for them?

While I have worked for the nation’s first GLBTI-Specific wedding and event firm in the country’s history, I have served couples for whom the marriage was far more important than the risks they faced.  Of course now, seven years on, there are other terrific companies entering the market we pioneered.   So what will the DADT repeal  have on the wedding business generally?  Quoted as an expert on the highly-respected eWedNews site (“The Source for Wedding Industry News”), I opined what it would take for mainstream wedding companies to successfully earn GLBTI wedding dollars and the changes those companies must consider.

Just yesterday I gave a private master-class to a corporate client in Hawaii on this topic.  Vendors and providers feel that a change is in the works, broadly, and come to me to seek information on “next steps”.  Should we be getting prepared for a bit of a surge in the numbers of gay and lesbian couples getting married, now that they can be “Out” and without fear?